What Keeps Me Awake At Night
I have been procrastinating about writing this next blog. At first, I had no idea what to write about. The first two topics seemed to come easily. I planned on eventually talking about veterinary topics and pet health, but I figured we can delay it a little longer, until the clinic gets started.
So last night, I decided to write about what keeps me up at night.
Around 2 am last night, I couldn't sleep, which has become a more normal occurrence. Too many thoughts running through my head. Too much snoring from all warm blooded creatures all around me (I never realized how loud the cat snores and whistles). Construction is behind schedule.... I have to rearrange some installation of major equipment... I have to set up a Grand Opening Party.... I have to write something for the newspaper... I have to master Quickbooks.. Taxes are due!!! Did I lock the front door? etc.
All these things will eventually get completed. But what keeps me up at night is not being able to control what is coming; being ultimately responsible for everything and everyone around me. I can think of times in my career when things have gone wrong, when mistakes have been made, when cats/dogs have passed away, people or patients are injured, etc. The guilt and regret can eat away at you. Sometimes, you couldn't have changed a single thing, the outcome would have been the same. Other times, a mistake is made by your team. As the doctor, you are responsible for that patient, and have to deal with the consequences of someone else's actions.
After reading that, you might be able to understand why I am not the easiest person to work with. I want things done a certain way. I don't want someone who gives less than 100%. If you wouldn't want that for your pet, then don't do it to someone else's. I have always micro-managed, as I have been told by previous employers. I hope I can learn to delegate responsibility to others and not burn out. I hope I can surround myself with employees who genuinely care about our patients and enjoy coming to work every day. I hope I can deal with all the future complaints/complications that will eventually come and give me deep stomach ulcers. Part of me knows I can do it, but I don't want it to destroy my life.
I love what I do. Hopefully I don't mess it up.
As of right now, I am going to put down a very tentative date. I would love it if Riverside Veterinary Clinic can open its doors May 15th. We will probably throw a little Open House Party on Saturday May 20th, in the afternoon. There will be some food, music, and you can bring your fuzzy one for walk through the hospital and take a look around! I will be sure to include a platter of some special baked dog treats as well.